"Victories Like Few Have Seen" — Indeed. Few Have Seen a Defeat Dressed Up as Victory.
"Victories like few people have ever seen before."
Let us inventory this victory.
The Strait of Hormuz — the chokepoint through which 20% of the world's oil flows — is still closed. Trump has told aides he's willing to end the war and leave it that way. The allies he called "COWARDS" are supposed to reopen it. Oil hit $126 a barrel. Gas is $4 a gallon. The IEA called it the largest supply disruption in oil market history.
Two-thirds of Iran's missile arsenal is still intact, according to U.S. intelligence reported by Reuters. Iran destroyed a $300 million AWACS radar plane on a Saudi base — the first ever lost in combat. Five Air Force refueling planes were hit at Prince Sultan — and Trump wasn't even briefed about it because his daily 2-minute "highlight reel" only showed stuff blowing up.
Thirteen American service members are dead. Over 1,900 Iranians are dead, including more than 200 children. The war has cost over $25 billion. The Pentagon requested $200 billion in supplemental funding. A Harvard economist estimates the total future cost at over $1 trillion including veterans' care.
Iran rejected the 15-point peace plan. Iran's military spokesperson mocked Trump with his own catchphrase: "You are fired." Iran issued its own conditions including war reparations. Iran denies any ceasefire request. Iran has already installed a new Supreme Leader.
And in the same speech where Trump said the war is "nearing completion," he promised "extremely hard" strikes for two to three more weeks. The Pentagon is preparing ground operations. The 82nd Airborne is deploying.
This is not victory. This is a president running from an enemy that turned out to be too resilient.
Victory would mean achieving what you set out to do — and not creating new catastrophes in the process. Trump's stated goals were to destroy Iran's missile capability (2/3 intact) and end its nuclear program (enrichment facilities are buried deep underground). On those benchmarks, the war has failed. But the Strait of Hormuz wasn't even on the list of objectives — because it was open before Trump attacked. Iran closed it in retaliation for the strikes. The war didn't fail to reopen the Strait. The war caused it to close. Trump created a crisis that didn't exist, and now declares it "not a core objective" to solve it.
What Trump is doing is what he has always done: declare that he won, repeat it loudly enough, and move on before anyone can point out the wreckage. It's the same instinct that led him to claim the largest inauguration crowd, the best economy, the best pandemic response. Say it, and it becomes true — for the people who only watch the 2-minute highlight reel.
But you cannot highlight-reel your way out of a closed strait, $4 gas, 13 dead Americans, and a $200 billion bill. The world sees the Hormuz shipping lanes — empty. The military sees 2/3 of the missiles still in Iranian tunnels. The families of the fallen see the flag-draped coffins.
"Victories like few have seen." Indeed. Few have seen a defeat wrapped in this much gold bunting. Few have seen a president declare mission accomplished while the mission's stated objectives remain unaccomplished and the war's collateral damage — a closed strait that was open before he attacked — is declared someone else's problem. Few have seen a war launched during peace talks, prosecuted with SpongeBob memes, briefed in 2-minute montages, grown boring to the commander-in-chief, and now being abandoned while the enemy retains its most potent leverage.
This is what happens when you start a war without a plan to finish it, without allies to help you, without congressional authorization, without the attention span to see it through, and without the honesty to admit when it's gone wrong.
Trump got bored. He wants to leave. And he's calling it victory.
The strait is still closed.